God Winks: Ways in which God lets us know that He is always there. And that He always cares.
Updated: Jan 1
Just after midnight at a downtown hospital in San Antonio, a chaplain walked into the waiting room of the IC Unit on the 3rd floor. He came to bring words of encouragement, but it only amounted to disheartening news for Shelley’s still hopeful family as they prayed, hoped and waited for the best – their faith still strong. But the words of prayer offered by this man seemed somewhat canned. Now I am sure that this man of God was genuine in his prayer, but maybe seeing so much tragedy and trauma in a downtown hospital caused him to have more scripted thoughts. So many hurting people in his daily life that he had one well thought out prayer along with some well thought out uplifting words. When he left the waiting room, he left the family not hopeful, but hopeless as they saw their hope for a miracle slipping away.
A few hours later just after 5AM, one of the head doctors came in to give the final and catastrophic news – that Shelley was not going to make it. That she was going to die. And that they had done everything they could do in their power to save her, but it was now out of their hands. At that appointed time during this conversation between doctor and family, a small janitor of slight build entered the room and began sweeping the floor of what the family noticed as a VERY dirty waiting room. And this little Hispanic janitor just mopped and swept as the group conversed, and to some agitation to the family as well since they thought it somewhat rude that this man was interrupting what they thought to be a very intimate moment. But he completed his job and he left the room. A few moments later as the hospital staff left the waiting room the little old janitor stepped back in the room and humbly said in broken English, “Excuse me. Excuse me. I couldn’t help to overhear the doctors bring you the news of your family member. But I want you to know that she is with Him right now. She is with God right now. The doctors think they are in control, but they are not in control. God has everything under control and not them. I know this because I work for Him (as he points his finger high into the air). I work for Him. And I want you to know that she is much better off now then before. And she is waiting for you to one day join her. That is our blessed hope.” The little man then offered a prayer of encouragement and healing for the family assuring them that as children of God, we would one day see her again. He then took off his crucifix necklace and gave it to the family as a sign of grace and comfort, then left the room leaving the family filled with the promise of the cross – forgiveness and life everlasting.
Now think about this for a moment. Man sent a chaplain while God sent a custodian. The ordained chaplain offered a prayer that was rehearsed many, many times while the lowly custodian offered a prayer straight from the throne room of heaven. The hospital sent a man in slacks with a nice button down and impeccable shoes. God in his absolute humility sent a janitor in a ratty uniform and old work boots. And a custodian to some is considered one of the lowliest jobs that one can have. One that is frowned upon by many. So the Lord sent the janitor to represent himself in all his meekness. He came sweeping a filthy floor. You have to remember that He was born in a barn, He rode into Jerusalem on a donkey and He was crucified between two thieves. Typical of our God. Extreme humility and humbleness. And this one tragic morning, he appeared as a janitor to a hurting family.
So we all need to stay aware that He can come in a variety of ways to present himself to us and we all need to be sensitive to this fact. As the scripture says in the book of Hebrews, many have entertained angels unaware, so be on watch for such activities. And I have thought several times if Gilbert was such an angel as well. I saw it as odd that he had two bandaged hands as if he was severely burned. OR – maybe he couldn’t touch earthly vessels. I noticed these bandages as he swept with his broom and when I went to shake his hand in gratitude after his prayer as well. But he was heaven sent for sure, angel or human.
A few days after Shelley passed away my grandson asked to wear the little crucifix around his neck and noticed that it had a sweet smell to it. He showed it to his mother who noted that the smell was not there before. This occurred three days after Shelley went to be with the Lord. Three days. And what was the scent? I was told it wasn’t cologne nor was it perfume, but it was something sweeter. The smell dissipated later that evening but what was it? Maybe it was honeysuckle. The smell of our Lord and now of Shelley.
Its was the evening after we laid Shelley to rest. I was home alone in what we sometimes called The Tiny Home in Castell , Texas. We now call the quaint little abode, Grammaw's House. A fitting name no doubt since the cabin in the woods was her place mostly and nobody had any qualm in this fact either. It was HER place that she made "Her own."
And in Grammaw's House is where I had the visitation. From her. Shelley. From Grammaw. It was a very hard day for my family and I as well as some of her friends. Laying her to rest was the most difficult thing that I have ever done. And I hope that I never have to experience anything of the like ever again. The day was filled with much anxiety as were the days leading up to it, so by the time I tuned out the lights that evening and tilted back in the recliner, I was completely and totally exhausted. The PTSD, the emotional drain, the physical drain and yes, the spiritual drain had all taken its toll. I finally rolled off to sleep close to midnight as best I can recall
It was then she appeared to me. Whether in a dream or vision I do not know. All I know is that she came to visit me and I to her. We met at The Veil. I was on my side of The Natural and she was on her side of The Supernatural. And in between us was The Veil. Now I have always wondered what the Veil was when I heard told of it. Was it a wall? A curtain of fabric? A DMZ Zone if you will maybe? No, it was none of these and not what I expected. The Veil - is a wall of water. A thick curtain of at least what appeared to be water that is. And not a waterfall and not a clear, transparent body of water. It was translucent. I could only make out things on the other side in a fuzzy way. Outlines of figures on the other side but not be clearly defined at all - much like frosted glass on a shower door was the Veil.
As Shelley approached the Veil, she started to speak to me. And as she was speaking, I then realized that she was standing "inside" the Veil of water. What makes me think this, you might ask? Well her long dark hair was dancing slowly all about her like being blown in the wind, but more appropriately it was like her hair was being tossed around slowly and gently by the swirling of water about her. It was an incredible sight. Her figure was a silhouette, but I knew that it was her for sure. And she spoke to me about a number of things but I cannot recall any of the conversation. I believe that she imparted into my spirit, and I believe that God will reveal what she spoke over time - when I “need” to hear it and know it the most.
And when she was done talking and imparting, she said one last thing. And this one last thing is something that I DO recall and remember pointedly and vividly. She reached her hand through the Veil of water and it appeared on my side where I was standing. And her hand was now clearly defined and no longer translucent and was also formed with her pinky finger hooked in a position that is familiar to many as the "Pinky Promise" or "Pinky Swear.” Now the Pinky Promise was symbolic for Shelley’s love and dedication to her daughter, Chelsea and likewise back from Chelsea to her Mother. I saw them use this gesture many, many times over the course of my relationship with both. Shelley then said something that I clearly understood. She said, “I need for you to give this to Chelsea.” And as I extended my own pinky finger to hook hers, the dream or vision ended. It ended before we could touch. Maybe because she was in an undefiled heavenly body, and I was in a defiled earthly body, therefore we could not touch - it is forbidden I hear. So maybe this is why. A few days later, I did as Shelley asked – I gave Chelsea the Pinky Promise and told her that it was from her Mother. She was shocked and surprised when I told her that her Mother had a parting gift for her in the form of her Mother’s love for her.
Now we all should know this - that NOTHING shall separate us from God’s love for us as it states in Romans 8:35-39
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”[a] 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Now consider this; can anything separate a Mother’s love from her Daughter? If that love maybe needs to be communicated? If The Lord allows and she is willing? Apparently, No. Not even the barrier between this world and the next called, The Veil, can separate The Lord from His Children, a Husband from his Wife or a Mother from her Daughter.